


The Inquisition Needs the Voices to Stop

by caitirin



Series: The Chronicles of Teithranen Lavellan: Plant-Obsessed Soft-Hearted Inquisitor [23]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Cole Ships It, Cole knows what to do, Discussion of feelings, Dorian Being Dorian, Dorian’s insecurity, Feelings, Hearing Voices, Insomnia, Kissing, M/M, Temple of Mythal, Vir'Abelasan, Well of Sorrows, always listen to Cole, cole is startling, dalish magic, halla are magical healing creatures, hurt comfort, keeper hawen - Freeform, post-mythal, proud Dalish, scaring your boyfriend, soft hearted inquisitors, teithranen lavellan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 01:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14683218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitirin/pseuds/caitirin
Summary: Inquisitor Teithranen Lavellan drank from the Well of Sorrows and now the voices won't stop and he's starting to lose it.  On top of all that his boyfriend just dropped some devastating news about his future plans.---He finally found Tei in the kitchen gardens.  They weren’t the gardens in the high courtyard where you couldn’t ever find a place to sit that wasn’t surrounded by other people.  These gardens were tucked in a sunny corner near the kitchens. Dorian found Tei kneeling in the middle of a patch of climbing bean runners, carefully pulling weeds and attaching the young vines to stakes so they could climb upwards to the sky.  He was wearing an old tunic and a pair of much-mended breeches and if Dorian hadn’t known the shape of him so intimately he could have been mistaken for one of the normal kitchen staff.“It took me hours to find you here.  You’re a tough one to find when you’ve a mind to hide from everyone.  Now did you bribe the kitchen staff to hide you, or are they just that loyal?”





	The Inquisition Needs the Voices to Stop

**Author's Note:**

> My Inquisitor's name is Teithranen Lavellan (Tei).
> 
> Spoilers for What Pride Hath Wrought, and the events with Dorian right after it. 
> 
> Huge thanks to my wife, Elaby, for the beta reading!

Dorian paced the library balcony with a book in his hand that he wasn’t reading.  He paused here and there, drumming his fingers on the railings and staring down at Solas’ desk.  The visit to the Temple of Mythal had been rough for everyone. Listening to Morrigan’s superior attitude and Tei’s patient but irritated responses as she dismissed his faith had been difficult.  Dorian wasn’t a very religious person, but he believed at least a little, considered himself Andrastian, and he knew the Inquisitor held his own beliefs as well. It wasn’t something Tei liked discussing with most people.  The man never completely denied being the Herald of Andraste, but he had never called himself that either. He preferred to let such discussions slide away from him by asking who could ever really be certain of something like that.  But Morrigan had just kept at it, talking like all of the Dalish beliefs were so much idiotic, backwater superstition. Dorian wanted to deck her, but he knew Tei would not have appreciated it. 

They’d spoken once on a mission about Tei’s Vallaslin and how they represented Mythal.  Then to discover ancient elves, and all that business with the well and some kind of geas binding him to Mythal, or something like that... It was all so maddeningly vague.  And Dorian hated the idea of Tei stepping into that water, much less drinking it. But there was no stopping him. Morrigan had argued something fierce with Tei, forcing chinks into the Inquisitor’s normally fairly calm facade.  Tei shut Morrigan down quickly and after warning them that the Well was not a gift, Abelas had given his permission.

The sound of the Inquisitor’s pained scream plunged Dorian into an icy fear and the following explosion knocked them all off their feet.  When they found Tei laying in the bottom of that empty pool twitching and not breathing, Dorian panicked. He hadn’t even been able to get to Tei before he lurched up again clutching his head, waving off help, of course.  He stumbled out of the well with smoke and strange light appearing on the floor where he stepped. There hadn’t been time to say more than a quick thanks that he was still alive before Corypheus was bearing down on them again.

After they stumbled out of the Eluvian in Skyhold, Tei’s advisors whisked him off immediately to debrief him about everything that had happened.  Dorian was left waiting, pacing back and forth in the library. The War Table meeting went on long into the night and Dorian had fallen asleep in his chair waiting.  When he woke up it was the middle of the night and Tei hadn’t come to find him. 

Perhaps he’d been exhausted and simply gone to bed, but when Dorian made his way up to Tei’s tower room he found Tei sitting cross-legged on top of his desk looking over some paperwork. 

“I thought I’d find you sleeping, Amatus,”  Dorian said with a smile.

Tei didn’t look up from the paper he was perusing.

Dorian walked over and leaned on the desk, but Tei still didn’t respond.  “Tei?” Dorian looked at him. “Teithranen!” he shouted.

Tei looked up with a start.  “Dorian. Sorry, I... didn’t hear you come in.”  He smiled, but his eyes were distracted and he looked tired.   

“Why don’t you put those reports aside and come to bed?  We’ve all had a long day. You most of all, I should think.”  Dorian smiled to hide his still-lingering worries about the damned Well of Sorrows.

“Mmm,”  Tei said absently.

Dorian watched his face.  He was there, but his thoughts were miles away.  You could almost see him chasing after them. Dorian took Tei’s face in his hands.  “Amatus, are you all right?” He brushed his thumbs over Tei’s cheeks. “You’re hearing them, aren’t you?”

Tei nodded.  “It’s okay. I just need to get used to it.  It’s just background noise. But you know me, I don’t like it when it’s too quiet.  Maybe it’ll help me sleep.” He smiled wearily. “It’ll be like being back home during Arlathvhen.  Lots of elf voices talking about our glorious history. I’m used to that.”

Dorian chuckled.  “Seems reasonable.” 

Tei unfolded his legs from underneath him and slid down off his desk.  He took a step towards the bed and on his second step he faltered.

Dorian caught him.  

Tei gripped Dorian’s arms.  “Sorry.” He closed his eyes.  “Just a little dizzy.”

Dorian frowned.  “I want you to see the healers.”

“I just haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.  I’m just worn out,” Tei protested. “Please, I just want to go to bed.  I’ll have a big breakfast tomorrow.”

Dorian hummed disapprovingly.  

Tei looked up at him and smiled.  “Really, it’s just the day catching up with me.”

Dorian wanted to believe that.  He lifted Tei into his arms, even though he knew Tei would protest being carried around like a damsel.  “I would argue with you on this one, but I know you’ll just ignore me.” He carried Tei over to the bed.

Tei laid his head against Dorian’s shoulders and grumbled a little bit.  But he was awfully tired. He let Dorian lay him down on the bed and help him out of his clothes.  

Dorian pulled the blankets up over Tei.  “Do you want me to go?”

Tei grabbed Dorian’s arm. “Never.”  He pulled Dorian down onto the bed next to him.  “I definitely don’t want to be alone.”

Dorian smiled.  That was more normal at least.  “All right, let me get undressed.  I’ll be right back.”

Tei released his arm and nodded.  

By the time Dorian had gotten out of his clothing and into bed with Tei, his lover had fallen asleep.  Dorian slid up behind him and slid an arm under Tei’s head, pressing his own chest to Tei’s back and curling himself protectively around him.  He breathed out a shaky sigh and whispered. “If you don’t come through this, I swear, I’ll kill you.” He pressed a kiss to the back of Tei’s neck and hoped for restful sleep for both of them.

 

When Dorian woke the next morning Tei was already gone.  He swore under his breath. It wasn’t abnormal for Tei to rise before him, but it was strange that he hadn’t tried to convince Dorian to get up with him.  Dorian looked blearily around Tei’s quarters but didn’t see the Inquisitor anywhere. He threw back the blankets and went to look out on the balconies where Tei kept a veritable garden full of potted plants.  No luck either. Dorian grumpily started pulling on his clothing. He spared a few moments to compose himself and fix his hair before jogging down the steps to the great hall. He decided to check the War Room.  He let himself in through the outer doors and saw Josephine at her desk. 

“Good morning, Ser Dorian.”  She smiled up at him, pleasant as always.

“Good morning, Lady Montilyet.  Has the Inquisitor been by yet this morning?”

“I haven’t seen him yet today.  How is he feeling?” 

“I’ll let you know when I track the man down,”   Dorian said with an irritated gesture. The War Table was empty of everything but maps, the kitchen staff did say they’d given him some breakfast but had no idea where he’d gone from that.  

He finally found Tei in the kitchen gardens.  They weren’t the gardens in the high courtyard where you couldn’t ever find a place to sit that wasn’t surrounded by other people.  These gardens were tucked in a sunny corner near the kitchens. Dorian found Tei kneeling in the middle of a patch of climbing bean runners, carefully pulling weeds and attaching the young vines to stakes so they could climb upwards to the sky.  He was wearing an old tunic and a pair of much-mended breeches and if Dorian hadn’t known the shape of him so intimately he could have been mistaken for one of the normal kitchen staff. 

“It took me hours to find you here.  You’re a tough one to find when you’ve a mind to hide from everyone.  Now did you bribe the kitchen staff to hide you, or are they just that loyal?”

Tei looked back at Dorian.  “Sorry. I just needed a little quiet.  Who gave me up?” He tied another bean runner securely to the pole.

“No one did.  I was starting to think I’d have to create some kind of magical tracking spell using hair from your hair brush.  Then I remembered you don’t use one so that idea was shot.” Dorian leaned against the doorway with a smirk. “But then I realized that there was no way you could have gotten out of the gates without your advisors knowing, and so I thought ‘where is the most dirt-and-nature-infested place in Skyhold?’  You weren’t in the barn, or the courtyard garden, so this was the last place. Thank the Maker you were actually here or I would have had to alert Cullen and Leliana.” 

“I’m sure Leliana knows I’m here.  She probably has her birds watching me every second.  Or has one of our spies in every room in Skyhold cleverly disguised as walls or runner bean shoots.”  Tei looked over the garden with an appraising look.

“The cook said you ate hardly anything for breakfast.”  Dorian walked over and stood near Tei.

“Yes, but I’ve had plenty from the garden.”  Tei snapped off a bean and popped it into his mouth.  He gestured to an open spot on the dirt beside him. 

“Why couldn’t you be comforted by a good bottle of red in the library and not rolling around in dirt out here?”  Dorian complained amicably as he sat down with Tei. 

“Your own fault for succumbing to the charms of a savage Dalish elf.”  Tei went back to pulling weeds.

“How do you even know what’s a weed and what’s not?”  Dorian ran his fingers over the sprouts.

Tei gave him a look.  “Because the leaves are entirely different.  This one has a broad deep green leaf with sharp edges, and the weeds have thin light green leaves.  Also the weeds are tiny because the garden has been well kept. The beans are much bigger.” Tei plucked one of the light green plants out.  “It’s not really all that different than being able to cast chain lightning instead of an energy barrage. You just know which is which and when to pull out one or the other.”

“That may be the first time one of your nature lessons has actually made any sense.”  Dorian reached out and caught Tei’s chin, pulling him into a kiss. “You seem better this morning.”

“I told you I just needed some rest.”  Tei looked back at the plants.

“You can still hear them?”

Tei pulled out another weed and rolled the stem between his fingers with his eyes closed.  “Yes, but it’s manageable if I don’t focus in on them.” He tossed the weed aside. “I’m sorry to have scared you.  I know you didn’t want me to drink from the Well. But it was really important to me.”

Dorian was uncomfortable with this discussion.  “I understand that it was important. But we still don’t even know the true cost it might have or what you’ve bound yourself to.”

Tei looked up at Dorian.  “I saw her, Dorian.” 

Dorian frowned.  “Who?”

“Mythal.”  He breathed out, recalling what he’d seen in the Well.  “I know it was her. I can’t explain it. I just know it.  Like I know my feelings for you.” He took Dorian’s hand in his.  “True, I don’t know exactly how it’s going to play out, but when do we ever?”

Dorian smiled, trying to hide the anxiety he was feeling so keenly at Tei’s open and honest words.  He looked down. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something for a while.”

Tei turned and faced him, setting aside the weeding.  “All right. I am, as you say, all ears.” He smiled a little.

Dorian brushed his fingers over the leaves of one of the weeds in Tei’s discarded pile.  “I was thinking that I should go back to Tevinter. Once all this is done, assuming we come out of this alive.  I talk a big game about how awful my homeland is, but it’s never going to change unless someone changes it. If they knew that we hadn’t actually destroyed the elves, that we’re nothing more than glorified scavengers, it might take us down a peg.”

Tei felt a tightness in his chest as Dorian refused to meet his eyes.  “Is this because I was so determined about the Well?”

Dorian shook his head and looked up at Tei.  “Of course not. I respect your decision, even if it did scare the life out of me.  I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.”

“You would just leave?  What about us?” Tei asked softly.

“Trust me, Amatus, it would give me no pleasure to leave your side. But you make monumental decisions affecting the entire world.  How can I not want to do the same?” Dorian flicked his eyes to Tei and back at the garden.

“Why don’t I go with you?”  Tei offered.

Dorian chuckled.  “What, and take you away from all of this?”  He gestured around at the garden. “I can’t ask that of you.  It wouldn’t be fair. Tevinter is not a safe place for you.”

Tei looked at Dorian calmly, pressing down the feeling of panic rising in his chest.  “You weren’t asking. I was offering.”

Dorian looked back at Tei.  It was cowardly not to meet his gaze.  “Tempting, but we both know you would end up doing it all yourself.  As much as watching my homeland beaten into submission would amuse me, this is something I need to do.”  

Tei felt pricking in his eyes and he steeled himself.  Starting to cry wouldn’t be fair. “Dorian... I need you at my side.  Now more than ever. I don’t know if I can do this without you.”

Dorian laughed bitterly.  “Emotional blackmail is a fine weapon to pull out of your arsenal right now.”

Tei felt his face getting hot.  “That’s not what I was doing!”

“I know.  I’m sorry.”  Dorian brushed imaginary dirt from his robes.  This whole conversation was getting away from him faster than he felt like he could hang on to it.  “This is all your fault, you know. Your actions shape the world, how could I aspire to do any less?  If it means proving Tevinter could be better, that there’s hope, even for my homeland, I would do anything.  Just like you would for yours.”

Tei stood up suddenly.  He shook his head. “I can’t have this conversation right now.  I just can’t.” He pushed past Dorian and ducked through the kitchens at a brisk run.  But not before Dorian caught sight of the tears on Tei’s face. Dorian pushed both of his hands through his hair in frustration.  That hadn’t been how he’d meant that conversation to go. It wasn’t what he’d been planning. None of this had been planned. He hadn’t meant to meet someone like Tei and immediately fall so hard for him that he couldn’t imagine a future without him in it.  He wasn’t used to thinking of a future that had someone other than himself in it. And with all the uncertainty of Corypheus maybe it was foolish to even have talked about it. 

It wasn’t hard to catch the derision and contempt that was directed at him as he left through the kitchens.  There was no doubting whom the kitchen staff valued around here. And the Inquisitor had just left in tears after talking with the Tevinter.  The daggers in their eyes felt almost as deadly as the kitchen knives they were wielding as they prepared the day’s meals. Dorian quickened his steps.  

He found himself at a table in the Herald’s Rest, sulking and drinking to get his mind off the terrible conversation.  Hang that it wasn’t yet ten in the morning. He’d been drunker earlier back in Tevinter certainly. His deep scowl, and probably the gossip that would have already spread through the keep about the incident in the kitchen garden, kept everyone at bay.  By now the story had probably gotten wildly exaggerated and no doubt it involved blood magic and the sacrifice of infants. By late afternoon it almost didn’t needle him, those irritating feelings of guilt and regret. 

He was surprised to find someone sitting down at his table around dinner.  The bench creaked as Iron Bull sat down and passed him a bowl with some hot stew looking substance in it, it was accompanied by a hunk of bread as well.  “Figured you’d already have a drink. But since I hear the kitchen staff is planning on spitting in your food for a while I thought I’d bring you something Stitches made for the Chargers.  It’ll put hair on your chest; not sure if that’s your thing or not, but figured you should eat just the same.”

Dorian continued to scowl, but didn’t push the bowl away.  

Bull went on as though he hadn’t noticed Dorian’s stormy expression.  “Heard the Boss had a bit of shouting match with Cassandra this afternoon.  Something about what she said about Dalish religion in the temple.”

Dorian rested his head in his hand.  The idea of Tei getting into a shouting match was almost unbelievable.  The Inquisitor never shouted at anyone, even people he really should have shouted at.  He was possessed of an incredible calm and even in the most outrageous of situations preferred to take a deep breath, compose himself for a moment or two and then ask the person shouting if they wanted to talk about the subject calmly.  

Bull watched him.  “He said that he ‘didn’t shit on the Maker in front of her and that she ought to have at least the decency to do the same for him’.  I hear she almost went purple in the face.” Bull chuckled. “I would have liked to have seen that myself. But Krem said the Inquisitor didn’t look so great.  Seemed to be on a real tear about something.”

Dorian put his head down on the table.

“So what did you do, Vint?”  Bull seemed amused. “Because I’ve never seen him quite this pissed off.”  Bull flagged down the waitress and ordered a drink.

Dorian sighed bitterly.  “What haven’t I done today?  Skyhold rumor mill says everything from carrying on a sordid secret affair with you to doing ancient evil blood magic rituals.  So creative of them.” 

“Seeing as I definitely would have noticed this sordid affair,”  Bull winked suggestively. “You been sacrificing babies and not sharing them with me?”

“We had a... disagreement about... the future.”

Bull’s drink arrived.  “Ahh, I get it now. You had to go and ruin a good roll in the hay by trying to pick out curtains?  Kinda figured you were smarter than that.”

Dorian gave him a sour look.

“Careful, Vint, you’ll turn that wine into vinegar.”

“It couldn’t make it any worse than what they’re passing off as wine in this hovel,”  Dorian said acidly. “And no, that was not the nature of the conversation.” Dorian dredged a piece of the bread through the stew.  It wasn’t half bad, better than the dreary Fereldan mush they were often subjected to. Did no one in the south know how to season food?  “I might have mentioned wanting to return to Tevinter. How he made me want to do better for my homeland. And, before you start talking, yes, I know, bad timing.  I don’t need to hear it. There wasn’t ever going to be a good time to talk about it.”

Bull considered for a moment.  “Makes sense. Tevinter is a pretty shitty place to be if you’re an elf.  Not surprised that he didn’t want to go.”

Dorian sighed.  “He actually offered to come with me.”  Dorian massaged his temples. “Maker’s breath, how did everything go so wrong so quickly?”

Bull shook his head.  “Wait, so he said he’d go with you back to that shit-hole?  He’s really into you. How did you screw this up?”

“I really appreciate your instant assumption that I was in the wrong,”  Dorian said sarcastically.

Bull raised an eyebrow.  “You’re telling me you weren’t?”

Dorian frowned.  “No. I just...” He looked up at Bull.  “I really don’t want to talk through all this again.  Seeing as it went  _ so well _ this morning.  I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but please, I’d really rather just be alone to drink myself into a stupor rather than consider my poor life choices.”

Bull clapped Dorian on the back.  “Hey, have it your way. I just figured I’d drop by and make sure you that there was at least one person in Skyhold who doesn’t think you’re a total asshole.  Even if you are a Vint. You might be decent one under all that bluster.” Bull smiled. “Stupid, arrogant, and hard headed, but decent. If you get tired of drinking alone in a dark corner, come sit with the Chargers.”

 

Dorian didn’t go up to the Inquisitor’s room that night.  He figured he ought to give Tei some space. He tried to lose himself in a book in the library, but it was a poor replacement for what he’d become used to, spending his evenings laying next to Tei.  He found himself thinking of the way Tei always smelled of elfroot and mint, the way his pockets and pouches were constantly filled with herbs and leaves and how he could identify at least two uses for everything he carried.  Dorian tossed the book aside with irritation. It wasn’t distracting him at all. All he could think about was the half-caught expression on Tei’s face as he had fled the garden today. Dorian felt that familiar pang of regret.  Relationships were something other people had; he’d been idiotically fooling himself that this thing with Tei could ever last. It never had before, why should this time be any different? 

Unbidden, memories of being torn out of a shared bed and forced onto a ship back to Qarinus washed over his mind.  He shuddered remembering the agonizing weeks spent in the ship’s hold, and how sick he’d been. He folded his arms tightly across his chest and tried in vain to think of something else.  Months of being locked in his childhood bedroom while his parents engaged in screaming matches over his future not far enough outside the door. Dorian got up from his favorite chair in the library and went back to his old room.  There was a bottle of liquor in the chest there, still where he’d hidden it. He just hoped there would be enough left to blot out the misery collecting in his chest.

 

Dorian could only remember a few times in his life that he’d had a worse headache than he did that next morning.  Or, as it turned out to be, the next afternoon. He instantly regretted the decision to open his eyes, swearing in Tevene as the sunlight seared through his brain causing shooting pains.  He needed some headache powder, and all of his were up in the Inquisitor’s quarters. Along with all of his clean clothing and almost everything else he owned. Dorian hauled himself out of bed and successfully repressed the urge to be sick.  This late in the day he wasn’t likely to find Tei in his quarters and figured he could avoid the discussion that would likely next be had. At least for a little while. 

He was right, Tei wasn’t in his quarters.  Dorian mixed up one of the headache powders and downed it with a swallow of water.  He sat down behind Tei’s desk and looked around. Tei’s staff was missing. As was his armor, and his pouches.  Dorian smoothed his moustache as worry gnawed at him. There was one more thing he needed to check for. He went to the table on Tei’s side of the bed and pulled open the drawer.  The journal that Josephine had given him was also missing. Tei always kept it with him. Josephine had intended him to use it to chronicle the experiences of the Herald of Andraste for posterity.  Tei mostly used it as a personal journal and something to press rare plants that he discovered along their travels. 

Dorian sat down on the bed.  Tei was gone. He had pushed him too far when he shouldn’t have and now he was gone.  

Dorian spent a miserable week pacing the library, wearing a familiar path in the floorboards.  It wasn’t like Tei to just go off like this without a word. And yes, they’d argued and Dorian had upset him, but this felt wrong in a different way.  Everything since their visit to the temple in the Arbor Wilds had felt wrong. Despite the fact that he’d been living at Skyhold for months now, the days seemed to drag on torturously slowly without Tei around.  The Inquisitor had taken Bull, Vivienne, and Cole along with him so Dorian didn’t even had the few people around that more than tolerated his presence. The rumors flew fiercely and Skyhold staff started skirting around him more obviously again in a way they hadn’t done since he had first arrived.  Just as he had back then, Dorian pretended not to notice or to particularly care. But after getting used to not being completely reviled it was a harsh slap in the face to suddenly find himself right back where he’d started. 

 

Tei and the rest returned to Skyhold after about a week away.  Dorian made it a point to be casually wandering in the courtyard when they were spotted a ways down the mountain.  

Tei led the way down the long bridge into Skyhold.  Normally, no matter how long they’d been away and how tired he was, he’d stop and chat with the soldiers on patrol duty along the bridge and have a moment to converse with whoever awaited him inside the gates.  But today it was different. He spoke to no one, just shouldered his travelling pack and walked through the gates looking ahead. His shoulders were hunched and he had dark circles under his eyes. His face looked thin and his cheeks were sunken.  The rest of the team walked after him quietly, watching him as though they expected something to happen. Cole looked positively desperate. He skittered about, always keeping his distance from Tei. 

Dorian frowned.  Normally Cole stayed close to Tei; he was quite attached to him, and Tei was very protective of the strange boy.  Cole all but ran off to the Herald’s Rest once they were through the gates. 

Vivienne rolled her eyes and stalked up the stairs to the Great Hall and her own space.

Cullen walked up to Tei.  “Inquisitor. A word, if you please?”

Tei just nodded.  He followed Cullen to his office.

Dorian started to follow him but he felt a hand on his arm.  

Bull pulled him aside.  “Something’s up. Boss has been acting strange.  Don’t think he’s sleeping or something. He’s been so angry at everything.  I’ve never seen him like this. Either you pissed him off royal or there’s something real bad going on.”

“I was afraid of something like this.  It was that damned Well. I know it’s doing something to him.”  Dorian looked up just in time to see Tei going into Cullen’s office.  “I’ll figure it out. I owe him that much. Thanks, Bull.”

Dorian hurried up the stairs to Cullen’s office.  He hesitated at the door, trying to decide whether to knock or just wait outside until one of them emerged.  He didn’t have long to wait. Something crashed in the room. Dorian could hear Cullen’s raised voice, he couldn’t make out the words but it was concerned.  Seconds later Tei threw the door open, nearly crashing into Dorian.

“Inquisitor, please, I really must insist that you see a healer.  You are not well.” Cullen stood just inside his office door.

Tei spun on his heel, tension in every muscle in his body.  “I don’t need more advice! I don’t want to hear any more noise!  All any of you do is tell me what to do! I wish I could just  _ shut you all up _ !”  He slammed the door on Cullen and wheeled around to face Dorian.

“Amatus-”  Dorian started.  Now that he was closer Tei looked even worse.  His eyes were red in addition to the ugly, bruise-like circles underneath them.  His ears were drooping and his posture seemed cramped. His hair looked even worse than it normally did out in the field.  “Are you...”

Tei paused as he looked at him.  His eyes moved rapidly from Dorian’s face to the floor and back.  There was a look of anguish in them and for a moment Tei faltered.

Dorian caught him, holding his shoulders.

Tei threw off Dorian’s hands.  “Don’t!” He jerked away. “Just leave me alone.”  He clenched his fists at his side and closed his eyes.  

Dorian watched Tei’s body shaking as he seemed to force himself away and down the stairs.  Dorian felt his heart in his throat as for a moment he was certain that Tei was going to fall down the stairs.  But somehow he made it, shakes and all.

Cullen opened his door again.  He looked first at Dorian and then after the Inquisitor.  “Ser Dorian... is he...” Cullen looked wretched. “I don’t want to think it, but could he be possessed?”

Dorian shook his head.  “No! It’s not possession,”  he snapped at Cullen. “Don’t start thinking of setting your templars on him.”  Anger boiled up inside him suddenly. How could things have gotten like this so fast?  He bit his tongue. Cullen didn’t deserve his wrath. He blew out a breath. “I honestly don’t know exactly what’s happening, Commander.”  He sighed and started down the stairs. Dorian watched the Inquisitor vanishing into the great hall and turned towards the Herald’s Rest again.

Before he made it to the door Cole appeared in front of him as though out of nowhere.  He grabbed the front of Dorian’s shirt, which was strange enough of itself because Cole didn’t often actually touch someone so abruptly, but then he looked Dorian right in the eyes.  “Too big, too bright, too loud! A thousand voices shouting all at once, getting hard to think, it’s like knives in the eyes, there’s fire, so many sounds, drowning out everything else, getting harder to breathe.  So long since he last slept. It’s too loud. I can’t get near! I can’t help untangle it. I need to help, but I can’t!” Cole was shaking, he was terrified. “You can’t hear the voices, you need to go and see him!  You’re the only one who can help. He needs you.”

Dorian put his hands on Cole’s shoulders to steady him.  “Cole, he made it very clear that he’s furious with me and doesn’t want anyone near him.  I don’t want to force-”

Cole’s voice pitched into a frightened tone.  He gripped Dorian tighter. “You weren’t  _ listening _ , not really.  He said those things because he’s afraid, like you’re afraid.  You said things that hurt him. He’s afraid that he has to be alone.  He doesn’t think he can do this. He’s not himself.” There were actually tears on Cole’s face.  Dorian realized that he’d never seen Cole cry before. Cole whimpered and looked down. “He’s slipping away, but you can bring him back.  You have to help! Please, because I can’t.”

Dorian looked back at the balconies up on the tower.   _ He’s slipping away _ .   _ Can I really help him? _  Dorian felt Cole’s grip on his shirt loosen.  He looked back to find Cole gone; sometimes it was hard to actually believe that Cole wasn’t just a spirit anymore, but those tears had been real enough.  Dorian headed up the great hall steps towards the tower bedroom. He heard Cole’s warning echoing in his mind and started taking the steps two at a time. He didn’t knock on Tei’s bedroom door, just pushed on through.  “Tei?” He called up the stairs.

The room was quiet.  Dorian stopped at the top of the stairs, he didn’t see Tei anywhere and the balcony doors were still closed.  But he saw movement behind the desk. Dorian crossed the room and stopped when he looked behind the desk. 

Tei was crouched behind the desk in the tiny space between his two bookshelves.  He had both of his hands pressed tight over his ears and he was rocking on his heels a little bit.  His eyes were tightly closed and tracks of tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“Tei!”  Dorian dropped to his knees in front of him.  He reached in with both hands to touch Tei’s cheeks.  

Tei startled and rocked back hard against the wall, for a second his eyes were unfocused.  “Go away! Stop! Make it all stop!” He flailed, almost striking Dorian across the face. 

Dorian caught his hands, holding Tei’s wrists careful not to hurt him.  “Amatus, what’s going on?”

Tei’s chest heaved as he suddenly seemed to be struggling for breath.  “It’s so loud. I can’t make it stop.” Tei’s pupils were so dilated that Dorian couldn't see the color of his irises any more.  He wasn’t even sure if Tei could see him.

He took hold of Tei’s shoulders tightly.  “Tei, look at me. Listen to my voice. Focus on me.”

Tei’s eyes swung around to Dorian’s face.  “I can’t do this, Dorian. It’s too much. I should have listened and now it’s too late.”  His voice trembled and tears fell freely from his bloodshot eyes. 

“It is not too late,”  Dorian said forcefully.  “I am  _ not _ letting you slip away from me.  Not now, not after all this. Not ever.”  Dorian reached between the bookshelves and gathered Tei into his arms.  He felt lighter--was it even possible? Could he have lost that much weight in the space of a week?  Dorian lifted him up, cradling him against his chest. 

Tei shuddered and his breath came in hiccupy sobs as he curled against Dorian.  He pressed his hands back over his ears and his face contorted into a grimace of pain.

Dorian’s heart seized in his chest.  What was he going to do? There had to be some kind of way to reverse this, some kind of spell that would stabilize him, something!  But at this rate, it didn’t seem like Tei would last long enough for him to find it. He started down the stairs. He carefully opened the door to the grand hall with one hand.  Fasta vas, Tei was light enough for him to carry him with just one arm. He looked into the hall, trying to keep this as quiet as possible. The last thing the Inquisition needed was some idiotic rumors that the Inquisitor wasn’t well.  There were a few people milling around as always, but no big functions. He’d just have to chance it. Dorian walked briskly out the door and one door down to Josephine’s office. He did his best to look bored and put upon as he carried Tei quickly into the room.  

Josephine looked up as Dorian practically ran into the room and shut the door behind him.  “Ser Dorian-”

“No time, get Cullen, immediately!”  Dorian set Tei down on her couch and knelt down in front of him.  Tei pulled his knees to his chest and rocked. He was whimpering, an almost keening kind of sound.

Josephine’s face paled.  “Is he-” She hurried over.  The look on Dorian’s face stopped her in her tracks.  “I’ll get Cullen.” She ran out of her office. 

It only took a few minutes for Cullen to arrive with Cassandra in tow.  

Dorian was sitting next to Tei on Josephine’s couch, holding Tei’s face in his hands, trying to get him to focus.  He glanced back at the door. “He says he can’t block out the voices. It was that damn Well. He was all right at first but it’s been getting worse.  Cole says he’s slipping away. I found him upstairs like this.” Dorian’s voice was strained. “There’s got to be something we can do.”

Cullen walked over and knelt on the floor in front of Tei.  “Inquisitor?”

Tei turned to look at Cullen.  He nodded. 

“Good, you can hear me.”  Cullen let out a breath. “We’re going to figure this out.  There will be something we can do.”

Cullen looked back at the others.  “He’s not possessed, but this is nothing like I’ve ever seen before.”  Cullen pushed a hand back through his hair. “I’m honestly not sure what I can do, the only thing I’ve been trained to do with mages isn’t something I’d ever want to see happen to the Inquisitor.  I thought perhaps in your experience as a Seeker, Cassandra...”

Cassandra lingered near the door.  “There are parts of the Seeker’s Vigil that might have a suppressing effect, but I cannot say how they would affect a mage.  It might be dangerous to try them. It would not be my first choice.”

“Please, Cassandra.”  Tei’s voice was thready.  “I want to try it. Whatever it is.”

“Amatus, I don’t know that it’s a good idea to just-”

Tei made a frustrated agonized whimper.  “I don’t care!  _ Do it! _ ”

“Perhaps this is related to his being Dalish,”  Josephine interrupted. “Did no one think to contact the Dalish?”  She looked around at the rest. “Maker’s sake! Sometimes I think you are this stupidest group of smart people I have ever known!”

Cullen looked angry at himself.  “It will take weeks to reach Clan Lavellan, we don’t know exactly where they are right now.”

“I have had word from the Dalish clan on the Exalted Plains.”  Leliana walked through the door from the Great Hall. “I believe they are rather fond of the Inquisitor.  Keeper Hawen believes he may be able to help. I have an aravel prepared and waiting. You should leave now.  They will be expecting you.”

Josephine pressed her hands to her face with relief.  “Bless you, Leliana. I will handle everything else here.  Hurry!”

Dorian wrapped a blanket from Josephine’s couch around Tei and picked him up.  He didn’t offer any resistance just shook in Dorian’s arms. 

Cassandra, already wearing her armor, stepped up.  “Who will be driving it?”

Loranil, the young Dalish recruit from the Exalted Plains, stepped out from behind Leliana.  “It would be my honor to render whatever assistance I can. I’m quite skilled with the aravels back home.”

Josephine nodded.  “We must do what we can to ensure that news of the Inquisitor's illness does not spread.”  She looked at Cullen. “Fetch the Inquisitor’s armor and a fine quality cowl.” She sized up Loranil.  “Ser Loranil, I must ask a favor.” She smiled apologetically. “For once let us use human ignorance to our advantage.  We cannot afford to appear weak”

He smiled wryly.  “If I wear the armor and have pointed ears and a tattooed face it will be close enough.  I understand, Lady Montilyet. I have no objection to fooling shemlen for the Inquisition.”

Josephine nodded.  “Excellent, you have our thanks.  The Inquisitor is making a visit to the Exalted Plains to investigate some of the elven ruins and eradicate suspected red templar in the area.  If on the way he assists our young recruit in visiting with the Dalish clan there, all the better to strengthen our alliances.”

Dorian felt the time and the way that Tei shivered in his arms.  “Yes, yes, now that we have our stories straight can we move along?”

Armor was gotten, and Loranil was outfitted suitably and they finally got into the aravel.  Dorian felt a lurch in his stomach as they got onto what he thought of as ‘ridiculous death trap land boats’.  He didn’t want to be seasick on top of all this. He steeled himself. 

The wagon section itself was suspended on halla leather straps so that it didn’t jolt and bounce around so much as sway.  Cassandra helped Dorian to wrap Tei tightly in a blanket and then laid him in a hammock suspended from one of the wagon sides.  There was another hammock on the other side and space in the center where another person could ride. Cassandra closed the gate at the back after she got in.  Loranil climbed into the driver’s bench and clicked to the halla who stood waiting and ready. Cole darted out and climbed over the gate and into the back. Cassandra made a disgusted noise but pulled him into the wagon at it started rolling.

Dorian found that he could only just tolerate the motion of the aravel as long as there was a brisk enough breeze and he stayed up front with Loranil.  He would nearly double over with waves of nausea when he turned around to look at Tei. Cassandra had stationed herself at the rear of the aravel, and seemed to intend to stand at attention for the entire journey.

Cole hunched near her, as far away as he could get from Tei while still being in the aravel, holding his hands over his ears and rocking quietly.

Tei lay quietly in the hammock of the aravel, his eyes screwed tightly closed.  His breathing was shallow at times and he had begun sweating, as though he had a fever.  His face was flushed and he clawed at the canvas like he was struggling to hold onto something but couldn’t quite find it.  

It was entirely too much like the trip over the Circle Sea that Dorian desperately wanted to forget.  Loranil, the young Dalish man, seemed ready to drive through the night, when he could no longer keep his eyes open he pulled in the sails and fastened the reins to a post on the bench and the halla who had been running alongside the aravel slipped underneath pull bars and pulled the aravel forward without direction.  Dorian stared at them. How could they know where they were going? Loranil had said nothing, and yet they were pulling together, moving them smoothly along their route. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied with Tei he would have been much more curious. Right now all he wanted to do was get Tei safely to Keeper Hawen and pray to everything holy that the Dalish Keeper really would be able to help.

Dorian had lost count of how they had been on the road.  Days? He was no longer certain. But when Loranil pulled the aravel to a stop in front a familiar camp, Dorian felt like weeping with relief.  He leapt down from the aravel and felt shame burning his face as he stumbled to his knees, feeling for all the world like he’d literally been at sea.  He hauled himself roughly to his feet and made his way to the back of the aravel where Cassandra was unfastening the gate. She easily lifted Tei into her arms, carrying him down from the wagon.  

Tei’s head fell back heavy against her arm and though his eyes were open, he stared glassy-eyed into the distance.

Dorian rushed up to him.  “Amatus, can you hear me?”  

Cassandra’s lips pressed into a thin line.  “We must get him to the Keeper.”

“Andaran atishan, Inquisition.”  Keeper Hawen walked up to them with a small cluster of other elders.  “Bring him to the halla enclosure.”

Cassandra strode quickly after him to the back of the Dalish camp with Dorian on her heels.  

The Keeper led them down into a naturally formed cavern where snow white halla skittered around them nervously.  “Lay him on the table, please.” 

Dorian followed the direction the keeper had indicated.  A simple, rough-hewn table stood at the center of the enclosure.  It had a rough wool blanket draped over it that was covered with leaves.  A few Dorian recognized as elfroot and embrium, but most of them were just a mixture of greenery he didn’t know.  Tei would’ve been able to tell him what every single plant was just by the feel of it under his touch or the scent when rubbed between his fingers.  

Cassandra laid Tei down as gently as you might an infant.  His arms dropped lifelessly at his sides and his eyes fluttered closed when she laid his head down.  She stepped back from him, clenching her fists at her sides. “Can you help him, Keeper?” She never took her eyes off Tei’s too-still form. 

“I would not give you false hope.  We will do what we can, Shemlen. You should wait outside, our people have prepared space for you.”  He put a hand on her arm.

Cassandra nodded curtly.

The elders started carefully bringing the blanket around Tei, wrapping it snugly around his form.  Dorian watched with a growing sense of dread as he realized what it reminded him of. Still as he was, and wrapped like that, it looked like a burial shroud.

Some Dalish took him by the arm and gently guided him back up and out of the cavern.  Dorian looked over his shoulder, desperate for one last look, maybe hoping to see something miraculous happening.  All he could see was the group of elder Dalish standing around the table, joining hands. Dorian was only numbly aware of the other Dalish elves escorting them back to the aravel they’d travelled in.  It had been secured for the night, travel hammocks replaced with fresh ones, and a bedroll unrolled down the middle. Room for Cassandra, Cole, and him. There was food prepared and passed around. Dorian accepted it, not wanting to be rude, but he could do nothing but hold the bowl of stew and the unfamiliar flatbread, staring past it into the middle distance, trying not to linger over the thought of Tei laid out on that table.  

The stew went untouched and was long cold when Cole climbed back into the aravel long after sundown.  The shadows had grown long and turned into darkness when Cole curled up in one of the hammocks to sleep.  Dorian was startled out of his thoughts. He set the bowl down. “I’m... just going to get some air.” His voice came out far too unsteady for his tastes.  He avoided Cassandra’s eyes and walked around the aravel to the far side. He wandered a short way to the edge of the river. There was a chill in the air and he hadn’t brought any of his heavier robes.  He folded his arms over his chest and stared ahead, not seeing the water. 

It might have been their last conversation.  Back at Skyhold, in the garden. And what had he said?  That he wanted to leave, and that it was Tei’s fault. Dorian swiped at his eyes with the heels of his palm and pressed his hands back through his hair.  He crouched down beside the water, gripping fistfulls of his hair, closing his eyes tightly, regret chewing at his insides. His breath faltered and betrayed him, coming out in a watery gasp.   _ Maker, please, don’t let it end like this.  Don’t let me lose him now. _

Dorian pressed his hands to the back of his neck, threading his fingers together.  His vision blurred when he looked back up into the faint light of the moon through heavy clouds.  He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and recognized Cassandra’s heavy boots beside him. She didn’t say a word, just squeezed his shoulder and stood there.

Eventually they returned to the aravel.  Cassandra took the hammock, leaving the bedroll for Dorian.  He sat on the steps at the back of the aravel, unable to sleep.  His eyes fixed on the back of the camp. Tendrils of smoke wafted out of the opening and the halla came and went as they pleased.  The mood of the encampment was somber and quiet. The Dalish went about their business through the night and into the next day. They paid little more than casual attention to their Inquisition guests.  

Two days passed.  Cole seemed to have ingratiated himself with all the Dalish children: they delighted in crawling all over him and trying on his hat.  Cassandra had volunteered herself to work on some repairs the clan needed. While she was no carpenter, she was quite capable of supporting heavy beams while skilled Dalish craftspeople shaped them and secured them in place more permanently.

Being a both a strange mage and from Tevinter put Dorian in no one’s good books.  The children stared at him from safe distances and seemed fascinated and alarmed by his moustache, and no one seemed to have any need of his magic.  He didn’t have a book to read and the Dalish didn’t exactly have a library. He found himself longing to offer his help to the foragers and hunters as they vanished into the woods each day, but he knew he would simply be under foot and unwelcome.  He’d probably end up picking something poisonous and making everyone sick. 

On the third evening, the elders emerged from the cavern.  They looked tired and most of them separated and went out of the camp.  The Keeper walked up to Dorian.

Dorian got immediately to his feet.  A thousand questions burned on the edge of his tongue.  He fought the urge to grab the old elf and demand answers.

“Lavellan rests now.  The vir'abelasan lies heavy on him, and will continue to do so.  But he can learn to control it.” The Keeper sat down beside a campfire and gestured that Dorian might join him.

“But he’ll be all right?  He won’t be in pain any more?”  Dorian sat down and watched the Keeper.

“It would have been a lot to master for someone who had been training to take on this burden for most of their life.  For him to have taken it on, and so young, it will not be an easy road. But he is strong. His Keeper has prepared him well as the First of Clan Lavellan.  All this will help him.” 

Dorian looked back at the opening of the enclosure.  “Is he awake? Can I see him?”

The Keeper shook his head.  “He needs to rest. He’ll be sleeping a while yet.  But he will live. His life is no longer in danger. Though it was good that you arrived when you did.”  He patted Dorian on the back. “Try to get some sleep, mage. You can talk to him tomorrow. For now, let him continue to rest.”  The Keeper walked over to Cassandra and Dorian watched her shoulders sag with relief. She took his hand in both of hers as she expressed her thanks.  She glanced over at Dorian with a little smile.

He nodded.  He’d smile again when Tei did.  For now he just had to make it through a little more waiting.

Cole walked over and sat down next to Dorian.  He rested his head on Dorian’s shoulder. A posture he normally saved for Tei.  Dorian awkwardly put his arm around Cole’s shoulder, welcoming the proximity of someone who wasn’t staring at him.

“Visions of the forest, sunlight filtered through the leaves, lighting up patches of clover.  The smell of soap, so strange in the forest, but so familiar and comforting. You laughed at the clover stuck to his skin.  He likes the sound of that.” Cole eyes were closed.

Dorian felt a little hitch in his chest.  He remembered that afternoon, a stolen moment in the Emerald Graves, when he and Tei had slipped away from the rest of the group to spend a quiet afternoon together, and they’d made love in a patch of clover and bathed in a hot spring afterwards.  “Dreaming?”

Cole nodded sleepily.  “He likes it when you’re in his dreams.  They’re better than the dark ones.”

Dorian hugged Cole closer to him.  “Thank you, Cole.”

That night Dorian slept.  Even the sunlight through the panels of the aravel didn’t wake him.  Cole did.

“He’s awake.  He wants to see you.”  Cole dangled over the side of the aravel looking down at Dorian.  

Dorian sat right up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and rubbed his hands back through his hair before giving up pretending that he cared what he looked like right now.  He climbed out of the aravel and made his way through camp. The Keeper was walking up out of the halla enclosure. He looked at Dorian and nodded.

He nearly turned an ankle as he ran down the small incline.  Tei was sitting up on the table with his legs dangling over the front side. He was hugging a the wool blanket around his shoulders like he was cold.  He still had circles under his eyes, but they weren’t as dark and his cheeks weren’t hollow as they had been. He had been petting a halla who had laid her head in his lap.  He looked up at the sound of footsteps. “Dorian!” The blanket slid off his shoulders as reached out for his lover.

Dorian closed the distance between them as though he’d been using fade step.  He pulled Tei into his arms, trying to be careful not to crush him. He pushed his fingers through Tei’s hair as Tei buried his face in Dorian’s chest, clinging to him.  Dorian caught the smell of mint and elfroot again and felt tears in his eyes.

Tei balled his hands in the back of Dorian’s shirt.  “You’re here.” 

“I am.”  Dorian laid his cheek on the top of Tei’s head.  “And so are you, isn’t it marvelous?” His voice betrayed his feelings by wavering.  He cleared his throat. 

“I’m so sorry, vhenan.”  Tei loosened his grip so he could look up at Dorian.

“Why are you sorry? I let this happen to you.”  Dorian cupped Tei’s face in his hands. “ _ I’m _ sorry.  I’m just glad you’re all right.  How are you feeling?”

“No smart remark  _ and _ an apology. I must have really scared you,”  Tei said weakly. He smiled up at Dorian.

Dorian felt his lips turning up into a smile.  “If you like I could tell you that it looks like birds have been nesting in your hair and that you smell like halla.”  

“That sounds more like the man I love,”  Tei replied. “Are you all right?”

“Asks the man who’s hearing voices.”

Tei leaned up and kissed Dorian.  He slid his arms around Dorian’s waist and hooked his fingers around one of the straps there.  “Everyone hears voices. I just hear extra ones that no one else can.”

“Not generally something one should brag about, Amatus.”  Dorian brushed Tei’s hair back from his face. “So, you can still hear them?”

“Sort of.  Right now I can only hear them if I pay attention to them. I can hear them like a humming in my head, like the way you can hear your own heart beating when you cover your ears.  They get louder if I’m too tired. The Keeper said that if I got sick it might be tougher too. Or if I’m stressed.”

Dorian made a face.  “Oh, delightful. Avoiding stress is going to be a bit difficult,  _ Inquisitor _ .”

“Fah, all I have to do is kill an unkillable darkspawn magister aspiring to godhood.  Sounds like a walk in the park,” Tei joked.

“And not get a cold,”  Dorian added. He slid his hands over Tei’s shoulders as if to reassure himself that he was still there.

“I eat enough elfroot, I should be fine.”  Tei looked up at Dorian. “So, you’re going to go and fix Tevinter after all this?”  

Dorian’s hands froze where they were.  “I suppose I can’t pretend that was all a fever dream, can I?”

“I was only partially incapacitated, not delirious.  You had good reasons.” Tei pulled Dorian closer to him.  “I might not like the idea, but I can’t say that I’d feel any different if it were my home.”

“I should have used the good sense the Maker gave me and talked to you about it when you weren’t...” Dorian fumbled for a word.

“Crazy?”  Tei smiled patiently.

“I wasn’t going to phrase it that way,”  Dorian said with a slight frown. 

“I really did mean it when I said I’d go with you,”  Tei said. 

“Amatus-”  Dorian started.

Tei interrupted him.  “But I also understand that it’s something you feel like you need to do on your own.  And even though I hate the idea of not having you right here with me, I’m not so petty that I’d try to hold you back just for my own selfish reasons.”

“I don’t-”  Dorian pulled Tei into a hug. “I almost got you killed by-” he couldn’t finish his thought.

Tei leaned against him.  “I almost got  _ myself _ killed by drinking from the Well and then not telling anyone that I couldn’t handle it.  You don’t get to take responsibility for my personal screw ups.” He breathed in Dorian’s familiar comforting scent.  “Just promise me you won’t leave before I have to face Corypheus. I don’t think I can do this whole ‘Leader of the Inquisition’ thing without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.  I thought I was going to lose you, and it’s... not a good feeling.”

Tei slid his arms up around Dorian’s neck, interlacing his fingers behind his head. “Sorry to report that you’re still stuck with me. Barefoot, plant-obsessed, dirt-covered, leaf-eating me.”

“Right now, I would eat all the plants in Thedas for you.”  Dorian laughed.

“While I admire the gusto, you probably shouldn’t.  Lots of them are poisonous.” Tei smiled. 

Dorian traced the lines of the vallaslin on Tei’s face, just drinking in his tired smile and those beautiful, light-colored eyes.  

Tei turned to press a kiss into Dorian’s palm.  “How did you know to come find me? I was being so horrible to you.  To everyone.”

“It was Cole.  He wouldn’t let me walk away.  Helpful little spirit. He was actually crying.  Which I think I was personally responsible for and will probably have to pay for in someway in the future.”

Tei slid himself towards the edge of the table.  “Help me down?”

“Should you be resting a while longer?”  Dorian put his hands on Tei’s hips to steady him as he slid down to the ground again.  

“I need to see sunlight and breathe some fresh air.”  Tei held onto Dorian’s arms as he tested his legs. They were a little shaky but didn’t fold beneath him.  “How long was I out?”

Dorian keep his hands on Tei just to be sure. “A few on the road and three days here.”

Tei breathed out nervously.  “I didn’t realize.”

Dorian helped Tei take his first few steps.  “Was it some kind of spell they worked over you?” 

“It was a Dalish purification ritual.  The Keeper asked Mythal to grant me her protection,”  Tei said.

Dorian raised an eyebrow.  “Mythal? As in bound to the will of?”

“The same.  I wouldn’t be much use to her as a drooling lunatic, right?”  Tei smiled. “Hopefully she thinks I’m useful enough to keep around.”

“Well, the rest us certainly think you are.” 

Tei held Dorian’s arm and started up the incline towards the encampment.   “He also taught me a few coping techniques to help me refocus my thoughts if I start feeling overwhelmed.”  The amount of fatigue Tei felt was surprising. Even the short walk up into the daylight felt more like he’d been scrabbling up a steep hillside at the Storm Coast.  He paused just out of view of the camp to catch his breath. “Keeper Hawen also gave me the recipe for some tea that’ll help me sleep if I need it.”

Dorian stood with him, waiting. “I thought you didn’t like sleeping potions.”

“I don’t.  This is a tea.  Just herbs I can find and blend on my own.  Nothing magical at all. I’m okay with those.”

“For a mage you’re pretty skeptical of potions, you know,” Dorian said with amusement.

“I was an herbalist long before I was a mage.  I understand how plants work. Magic less so.”

Dorian looked appalled. “You don’t know how your magic works?  You just wiggle your fingers and boom, lightning?”

Tei shrugged, thankful for the short delay so he could compose himself a little more before seeing the rest of the camp.  “I learned some of the Rift Mage theory stuff because my trainer made me read the entire book.”

“You know I could teach you the theory behind the elemental aspects.”

“And if the tea doesn’t work then I will have you do that.”  Tei grinned.

“Don’t you want to know how you’re shaping forces of the universe?”  Dorian made a grand frustrated gesture with his free arm.

Tei shook his head.  “Not particularly, no. The Inquisition keeps making me do that and it freaks me out. I’m good with the fact that it works.”

“Amatus, you’re missing out on the subtle beauty of it and you can do so much more when-”

“Maybe all that studying magic is what’s given you grey hairs.”  Tei stepped out into the daylight.

Dorian’s hands automatically flew to his hair.  “You are clearly still delirious if you think I have grey hairs.”

Tei shaded his eyes with his free hand as his vision adjusted to the bright sunlight again.  He had only a second before he was suddenly swarmed with Dalish children and halla fawns. Dorian guided Tei over to a wooden box so he could sit down as the children all tried to thrust bundles of elfroot and flowers and other little trinkets into his hands.  Tei accepted every single bundle gratefully and soon had a large pile of herbs and a baby halla curled in his lap. 

Dorian stepped back; it was either that or be stepped on by a herd of children and animals.  

Another adult Dalish woman ushered the children away so they didn’t overwhelm Tei.  Cole stood at the edge of the group, looking around at the ground and fidgeting with his sleeves.   

Tei smiled up at him.  “Hello, Cole.” 

“It’s quieter now.  Things are softer here.  The sharp edges are put away.  Knives sheathed so they aren’t cutting into you anymore.”  Cole walked over awkwardly and crouched down beside Tei. “I wanted to help, but the hurt was too tightly wrapped around.  There was no place to loosen it. And the songs were too loud. Too much brightness, too big.” He picked up a bundle of elfroot and picked at the leaves.  “Being out here helped when I couldn’t.”

Tei put his hand into Cole’s.  “Thank you. You did help. When I needed it most.”

Cole smiled.  “I like it here.  The children aren’t afraid of me.  They talk to the plants like you do.  But the garden isn’t a small square like it is back at Skyhold, here the garden is everywhere.”  Cole looked over his shoulder. Cassandra was approaching with some food. Cole leaned in closer to Tei.  “She’s nervous. She worries that she’s ruined things. She doesn’t want to lose her friend.” Cole hopped up and made space for her.

Tei looked up at Cassandra with a tired smile.  He gestured for her to sit down next to him. She offered him some kind of stew.  He wrapped his hands around the wooden bowl, savoring the warmth that bled through it.  It smelled so familiar to something they made back home. He rubbed a fingertip over the rim of the bowl, worn smooth from years of heavy use.  It felt easy and comfortable.

Cassandra looked down into her own bowl, nervously considering her words.

“Thank you for this, Cassandra.”  Tei gestured carefully with the bowl.  “I’m so hungry I think I could eat something terrible and Orlesian.”  He smiled.

She laughed a little bit.  “Given the choice I prefer this food to anything served at the Winter Palace.”

Tei took a spoonful of the stew and savored it.  “Dorian said the ham tasted of despair. I almost wish I’d had time to try it.”

“Your Tevinter has a remarkably perceptive palate,”  Cassandra said by way of a compliment. She looked at Tei.  “I am very pleased to see you on your feet again. How are you feeling?”

“I’m going to be okay.  I’m glad that you brought me here.  Keeper Hawen was a huge help.” Tei stirred his stew again.  “Have we sent word back to Skyhold?” Tei asked

Cassandra nodded.  “I dispatched one of Leliana’s ravens with a message.”  

Tei sighed with relief.  “I wouldn’t want them to worry.  I’m sorry to have been such a problem.”  Tei looked down. “I know you didn’t want me to drink.  None of you did.” He shrugged. “Maybe I should have listened.”  

Cassandra set down her bowl and turned to face Tei.  “Inquisitor, I would like to apologize for the things I said in the temple.  It was needlessly cruel of me and I deeply regret my thoughtlessness. You have always been respectful of my faith and beliefs and it was wrong of me not to show you the same respect.  The remarks I made about superstitions were-” She shook her head. “I am ashamed of the way that I spoke about your people. I hope that you can someday forgive me.”

“And I’m sorry that I shouted at you back at Skyhold.  I know that you didn’t mean the things you said and I was so stressed and taking things far too personally.  We both said things that we regret. And we have both been under a great deal of strain. I should never have shouted at you like I did.”  Tei smiled awkwardly over at her. “Maybe we could forgive each other. Your friendship means a lot to me and I would hate to lose it.” He reached for Cassandra’s hand.

She squeezed his hand.  “I would like that. You are a dear companion and friend.  We could not do this without you.”

Tei grinned.  “You just want me for my body.”  He waved his hand with the Anchor at her.

She made an offended sound.  “Now you are mocking me.”

“But in a friendly way.”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise.  But then she smiled. “I am glad that you are feeling better.”

Tei chuckled.  He picked up his stew again and they ate in comfortable silence for some time.  “We should get back to Skyhold.” Tei looked at the aravels.

“You are well enough to travel?”  Cassandra asked with concern. 

Tei nodded.  “I know where we need to go next.”  Tei could see an image of the place in his mind.  “There’s an altar in the Arbor Wilds. I need to summon Mythal.”

 

They spent one more night with the Dalish before loading the aravel back up for the trip back to Skyhold.  Tei was still a little shaky on his feet but felt clear headed. Dorian helped him up onto the front bench of the Aravel when Tei took hold of the lines.

“Are you sure you should be driving one of these death traps in your delicate state?”  Dorian said, giving him a sidelong glance as he sat down next to him. Cassandra, Cole, and Loranil sat in the back.  

The Dalish had given them a small basket with freshly made halla cheese and several tightly wrapped pouches of tea for Tei to drink.  Tei was strongly considering  _ not _ sharing any of the halla cheese.  It was nearly impossible to get at Skyhold and it was one of the foods Tei missed the most from home.

“I can manage fine, and if you don’t stop asking me about my ‘delicate state’ I’m going to put  _ you  _ in a delicate state.”

Dorian chuckled.  “I’m just saying, we could walk, take in some of this lovely scenic nature along the way.”

Tei produced a glass bottle from one of his pouches and passed it to Dorian.  “Here. This should help with your sea sickness.”

Dorian took it and eyed it skeptically.  “The last time you gave me some dirt covered roots to chew on.  Weren’t they delightful,” he said flatly. “What is this new concoction?”

“It’s the same stuff.  Ember root. I just brewed it very strongly and sweetened it with honey.”  Tei unhitched the main line from the cleat and pulled in the sail so it could catch the breeze.  “Drink it. I think it’ll help more than chewing on the roots.”

Dorian still gripped the seat, white knuckled, as the Aravel lurched forward. He looked sternly at the bottle.  The liquid inside was a deep amber and it was almost certainly going to taste bad. Sure, Tei had mentioned sweetening it, but a Dalish elf and a man from Tevinter had very different thresholds for what was considered sweet.  Tei claimed there was a hint of sweetness in even the most bitter of elfroot. There was not. Dorian unstoppered the bottle and tipped the entire contents into his mouth with a grimace. But it actually was sweet. Dorian blinked and looked down at the bottle.  “That wasn’t half bad.”

 

They’d been on the road for about what felt like forever and Dorian wasn’t feeling seasick.  Thank the Maker for small mercies. Tei glanced over at him with a smile. “So did Cassandra tell you the plan?”

Dorian looked out over the road.  “She did.”

“So, what do you think?”  Tei focused on the road as well.  

Dorian paused, choosing his words carefully.  “I am not entirely sanguine about the idea of you trying to summon up an ancient goddess.  Much less one that you’re somehow bound to.” Dorian exhaled and looked sideways at Tei with a pained smile.  “But, so far as we know, the Dalish have never caused a Blight, so I don’t know that a Tevinter mage has a leg to stand on in terms of telling you what to do here.”

“Reasonable point.”  Tei adjusted the sails.  “What about the opinion of the man I love?  What does he think of my plan?”

Dorian shifted in the seat a little, and it had nothing to do with the lack of padding on the bench.  “I don’t want you putting yourself in harm’s way any more than you already do, but maybe I was wrong about the Well, so maybe I should just trust that you’re making the right decisions.  I know that you don’t make them lightly.”

“Neither do you.”  Tei looked at Dorian.  “I guess we just have to trust each other.”

“Well, isn’t that just a ray of reassuring sunshine,”  Dorian said sarcastically.

Tei knew the bluster was just to cover up Dorian’s fears.  He’d become familiar with that particular aspect of him. Tei moved closer to Dorian, pressing up next to him.  “I’ll take what I can get these days.” He felt Dorian slide an arm around his waist. “You’re here and I’m here, and that’s all I can ask for.”

“You’re talking about me going back to Tevinter.”  Dorian still felt guilty about the pain he’d caused Tei.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Who knows, maybe we’ll even have to rebuild the bridge.  I think I had Cullen build several bridges for me, maybe we’ll be experts by then.”

Dorian snorted.  “You’d better hope he doesn’t repair that one like the one he did in this backwater province.  If I recall he threw a couple of boards across the gap and called it done.”

Tei laughed.  “Well, even though Josephine says he’s like a hammer, he’s an ex-templar, not a carpenter.  We should just be happy that it actually holds up.”

“I know how it holds up,”  Dorian said, pulling Tei closer.  “It’s you. Everything you touch gets better.  You make the world want to be better just by moving through it.  It’s an incredibly annoying talent, you know. Makes the rest of us have to work really hard just to keep up.”  Dorian pressed a kiss to Tei’s ear, making Tei blush and twist. Dorian smiled at him. “That’s how I know, no matter what you choose, it’s going to work.”

“I might need to lean on that massive faith you’ve got in me,”  Tei said. “I don’t know if I have it in myself.”

“I think you’ve got more in you than you think.”  Dorian nuzzled Tei’s ear again.

Tei jolted the aravel when Dorian kissed his ear.  It sent a delightfully tingling sensation through his entire body.  Why had he insisted on driving? He lowered his voice. “You’re  _ distracting _ .”  He smiled.

Dorian was about to do it again when Cassandra’s voice shattered the moment.

“Perhaps you ought to save such activities for Skyhold when the Inquisitor does not literally hold our lives in his hands.”  She stared at them unamused and gestured at the sail lines Tei held.

Tei was blushing furiously.

“Apologies, Seeker.”  Dorian grinned. He leaned in close to Tei.  “Let’s continue this later.” His voice was low and husky and dangerously close to Tei’s ear.

Tei hauled in the sail and the aravel leapt forward at a much brisker pace.  “How much farther to Skyhold?”

Dorian winked at Tei and raised a suggestive eyebrow.

In the back of the aravel Cole giggled.  “Ooh, the Inquisitor likes when you do that!”

Cassandra rolled her eyes.  “What, winking?”

Cole shook his head.  “No, he’s going to put the Inquisitor on the desk and-”

Cassandra clapped a hand over Cole’s mouth, blushing bright red.  “Perhaps that is enough talking on the subject. Maker’s mercy, let us be back at Skyhold soon.”


End file.
